If I go on a date with you and you are a smoker, I will fuck you. At the moment your hands reach for the package in your jacket as you are finishing your sentence about how much you like coffee in the morning, I’ll say ‘don’t smoke.’ Why? ‘Because I want to taste you.’ Then my hand will grab you by the chin and I will push you against the wall, bite my lip and not kiss you until I see the fear in your eyes of not being able to taste me. I will grab your throat and whisper in your ear ‘That spark must have lit your cigarette, your breath is falling like ashes, and your eyes glow with death.’ I will let go of you and act as if nothing happened. ‘I like coffee too. Do you like indie music?’ I will fuck you. I will.
Zeff Wolf (you desperately wanted to die in that moment, to burn out and be carried away with the wind, #7)
Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.
You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful - or where you always wanted to be. You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to.